Invisible
by marietot99
Summary: Clary moves away in search of a new, happier life, what happens when she gets close to the kids next door? WARNING: Rated M for language, possible smut/lemons, self-harm and suicide
1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note: hey guys this is my first ever fanfiction so bear with me please, I've been reading fanfics on here for ages (FifiMarie) and wanted to start writing myself so here goes. I'll try to update as often as I can and sorry if my grammar isn't perfect.**

This story is rated M just to be safe – so there will be swearing if I feel it fits. There may be adult themes/smut/lemons later on and there will be some themes which some people may find triggering (self-harm, suicide etc.) so you have been warned.

**Characters and stuff to do with the shadow world (Idris, Institute etc.) all belong to Cassandra Clare: I'd love to own them…especially Alec…but I don't.**

**Oh yeah and thoughts are in italics.**

-

**Third Person P.O.V.**

Clarissa Adele Fairchild – or Clary, as she preferred to be called - was invisible. She was good at being invisible. Everyday people would pass by her – through her – as if she wasn't there. She didn't care, she was used to it.

Her parents had split up when Clary was just 2 years old; so she didn't remember her father that well. Since she turned 12, her mother, Jocelyn, was hardly at home; choosing instead to spend her days at her art studio and her nights at parties and exhibitions – so Clary was often alone. Clary was now 16, about to start her 5th year of high school; and today was a new start, she was moving out to a flat of her own. New home, new school; and hopefully – a new life.

**Clary P.O.V.**

I had just finished clearing my room, most of my stuff was at my new flat – everything else was in my pale blue suitcase; this was it – time for me to move on and move out. For one last time, I looked around the small apartment I had called 'home' for so long, before locking the front door and getting into the waiting taxi which would take me out of this world.

-Time Jump! -

**Third Person P.O.V.**

Alexander Gideon Lightwood – or Alec, as his fan club called him - was – unfortunately for him, Not invisible. He was the smart, fun, athletic popular kid that everyone wanted to be seen with. Alec never wanted to be popular, but I guess that's what you get when your parents are both super rich, your little sister a model and your adopted brother in a band…  
Despite all the popularity from both teachers and pupils, Alec didn't really have any friends – I mean several people claimed to be his friend but he had no-one that was there for him…no-one who knew…no-one to support him…

Alec was 17, about to start his senior year of high school. He hoped – he prayed that this year would be different. He vowed to himself that he would make friends – real friends this year and maybe…he would find someone to help him.

**Alec P.O.V.**

I was walking through a meadow when suddenly I got smacked in the face.

"ALEC! WAKE UUUUUP!"

_Oh God no…Izzy probably wants me to go to a shoot…quick…pretend you are asleep…_

"Oh Jaaaaaaace, I just can't seem to wake Alec up…..could you try?"

_Crap she's got me there…_

"ok I'm up! I'm up…what do you want Izzy?"

"Theresanewgirlmovinginnextdoorandshe'ssupercuteandibetshe'sgoingtoourschoolweshouldtotalygosayhi!"

"Wait…what?"

Jace stood at the doorway, smirking at the two of us:

"Next door, new girl, cute, let's go!" _yeah because that explains everything…_

"oh and nice pyjamas bro" I looked down _Crap I'm not wearing anything shit shit shit shit don't think about it don't think about it….oh no…_I couldn't help but blush, making Jace laugh even more…he's such an asshole…

I got dressed and went next door to see the door open and boxes everywhere…and that was when Jace decided to make his entrance…

"Knock knock? Anyone at home?" _the poor girl…_

That's when she appeared, a short girl with a slight frame, she had curves in the right places but not too many and her pale face was framed by loose strands of auburn hair that was mostly contained in a tight bun. _She's gorgeous…Jace is going to be all over her…._

"hi there gorgeous, I'm Jace, I live next door, who might you be sweetheart?" He flashed a grin that would make most girls swoon or faint as he offered his hand _no…I can't let her get caught up in him…_

"Hey Jace, I'm Clary, you live alone?" she shook his outstretched hand, clearly not interested in him _what?...she didn't even flinch…I like her already…_

"N-no I live with my adopted siblings Izzy and her older brother Alec" _aww he's not used to being rejected like that…cute_

Izzy wrapped her in a hug as they made their introductions _the poor girl…poor, poor girl…she'll be a walking Barbie in no time if Izzy has anything to do with it_

I was brought out of my thoughts by Clary walking over to me, she only came up to my shoulder, she was cute…_she was gorgeous…wait…I don't call girls gorgeous?!_

That was when our eyes met, crystal met emerald; and my heart stopped.

**So yeah there's the first chapter. Hope you guys liked it? The story might be a bit slow to build up but ill try to update often to help it move along.**

**Please leave a review – criticism is welcomed and ill answer questions you guys might have,**

**Cya next time…**


	2. Chapter 2

**Hey guys just a couple of things before I continue the story:  
- Firstly – I don't know why, but on the mobile site my entire story is in bold…so sorry about that I'll fix it if I can.**

**- Secondly – To all you fan girls out there, yes – this will be a CLALEC story – but I call it CLAREC ok?**

**- Thanks to the guys who reviewed:**

**Greygirl2358 – thank you so much! Alec is kinda my favourite character sooo…..my stories will probs be about him and I think he is sooo cute in Clarec stories**

**Morgenstern18 – I'm trying to update as often as I can ok?**

**Guests: could you please sign your reviews or add your name to them so I don't have to call you "Guest"? But yeah its clarec *fan girls* and I will try to do longer chapters but I'm not sure**

**- Finally, I don't own anything…not even Alec *cries*…**

**-  
Third Person P.O.V.**

They stayed like that for quite some time, Alec unable to form words. Jace and Isabelle exchanged a glance and left the two of them alone.

"H-hi Clary I'm Alec" _well done Alec…make yourself look like a complete idiot…well done…_she smiled at him; _she smiled….she actually smiled…Alec 1, Jace 0 _I smiled back.

"Hey Alec, you ok to help me with some of my stuff?" she walked out and headed for the stairs, Alec stood there in shock for a while before following her to where boxes were piled near the front door.

**Clary P.O.V.**

I walked out of the room before I started blushing. _He's sooo cute I can't believe he lives next door this is amazing! I'll have to put up with that "Jace" guy though…God he was such a dick thinking he could flirt with me like that! Even so Alec...he's perfect he's tall, he looks strong from what his tight shirt and jeans showed, his hair looks like he's only just got up but it's still perfect…*sigh*…and his eyes…they. Are. GORGEOUS. Maybe moving out wasn't that bad an idea after all… _I couldn't help the massive grin on my face as I turned round to find him standing there. He looked nervous, like he was afraid of me_…ME of all people! I'm tiny…I barely look 12 let alone 16! There's no way I look threatening…right?_

I reached for the box containing all my art supplies;

"Here Alec, could you take this and put it in the spare room upstairs please? Thanks"

He smiled and took the box from me. When I smiled back I swear he blushed before he turned away…_cute_.

**Alec P.O.V.**

_What is she doing to me?! I can't stop blushing around her and we literally met like…2 minutes ago! And those eyes…..God I could get lost in them forever – she's just perfect….wait…what?! Come on Alec, focus…or this girl is going to kill you. _I took the box upstairs and looked around until I found the spare room, I sat the box down on the large desk at one side The room was fairly empty – but had large canvasses and easels set up already and there were large windows which let in a lot of natural light.

"Hey Clary? Want me to empty the stuff out of the box?" I called down to her;

"Yeah, please that would be really helpful"

I opened the box and started emptying out the supplies _wow there's a lot in here…no wonder it was so heavy…I don't even know what half of these things are used for…_

I tried to be organised whilst emptying the box: putting 'acrylic' and 'block' paints away together with the various paintbrushes in one half of the drawers and pens, pencils, chalks and 'pastels' away in the other – along with a lot of other stuff which I didn't recognise.

It was then – as I was getting to the bottom of the box – that I found her sketchbooks. There were 20 or 30 of them in all and each had dates on the front – presumably the date she started and finished the books, the earliest one was from 10th July 2003. _I shouldn't….I really shouldn't open them…but I'm done with the rest of the stuff anyway…she won't know…_

I opened the earliest one, just inside the cover it read: "Happy 5th Birthday my baby girl, Dad x" I smiled inwardly at that and began flicking through the book _wow…these are good…Really good…she was just 5?! This girl is talented._ I couldn't help myself; I started to look through all of the books. You could see her talent improving as she got older…but something wasn't quite right…

"Alec? Are you done up there? Izzy's insisting we all go out for lunch today"

I hurriedly put the sketchbooks away – masked my face of emotions and headed downstairs.

**-Time Jump!- **

**Jace P.O.V.**

Izzy had managed to drag me outside…she insisted that we all – Clary included – went down to Taki's for lunch. _I don't like Clary…she doesn't seem to like me…she didn't swoon at the sight of me, didn't faint at the sight of my grin or at the sound of my voice. Instead, she fell for Alec. ALEC. I thought he was GAY for fuck's sake…right. That's it. I'm gonna save Clary before Alec gets all over her. Either I can have her…or NO-ONE CAN. _From that moment on – I made it my mission to win Clary's heart and tear her away from Alec's grasp.

We sat down at one of the tables and Kaelie (my go-to stress-relief _if you know what I mean…) _came over to take our orders. _Step 1 in my epic plan: make Clary want me…done, she obviously wants me – she's just trying to get my attention by playing hard-to-get. Step 2: make her jealous…well this should be easy…_

"What can I get you guys?" Kaelie asked brightly, glaring at Clary _oh…she thinks Clary's with me…shit_

Alec cleared his throat: "I'll have the waffles, Izzy will have the salad and Clary?"

Clary smiled sweetly at Kaelie; "I'll have the soup please…_" "And a nicer waitress" _she said under her breath causing Izzy to start giggling.

"Jacey babes? What about you?" _urgh I hate that nickname…and her voice is so…arghhh…I want to hear Clary say my name…focus Jace…all in good time…_

"the burger please Kaelie babes" I said as sweetly as I could manage before winking at her.

Kaelie left and my 'charming' adopted siblings starting making gagging sounds. I glared at them _if only they knew…*evil laugh here*_

**Third Person P.O.V.**

Throughout lunch, Izzy Alec and Clary were chatting and laughing – they all swapped numbers and promised that they would stick together when the new term started at St. Xavier's. It got well into the afternoon before they left – though Jace stayed saying that he "wanted to spend time with his girl after she finished work", Alec and Clary didn't care, they were loving getting to know each other and Izzy just ignored him – she Hated Kaelie…she was a slut and everyone knew that. They said their goodbyes and Izzy made Clary promise to go shopping for school stuff the following day, once back home, Alec went straight to his room, locked the door, and put his head in his hands…

**Alec P.O.V.**

I couldn't believe what I had seen earlier that day, she seemed so happy and yet…there's got to be a reason for what I saw. _I can't bear to think that someone that sweet and kind could be going through something as terrible as that…I shouldn't have looked…_the sketchbooks were innocent enough at first – but as she got older they became her diary, her emotional outlet…the pictures got darker, some were tear-stained and the others had drops of what looked like blood at one side…_please…let it be paint…i…please no…I don't want her to be hurt…_One of the pictures in particular had caught his memory…it was quite a recent drawing, of a girl, the wind caught in her hair and tears pooling in her eyes, she was falling, there was no-one there to catch her…and in one corner were two words;

Save Me.

**Sooo…I have some questions for you guys:**

**Max – alive or not?**

**Long chapters not that often or shorter chapters more often?**

**What do you think happened to Clary?**

**Furthermore – Jace is such an ass right? **

**And aww her dad tried to keep in contact didn't he?**

**Please review and feel free to give ideas/criticism and questions**

**Cya next time…**


	3. Chapter 3

**Sorry guys about the pause, busy week and got my exam results back yesterday so hyper but will try to give a longer chapter.**

**By popular demand – MAX WILL BE ALIVE IN THIS STORY!**

**Greygirl2358 – hopefully the following chapters will start to explain things – though this one is gonna be more Izzy and Clary than actual Clarec…well I think I haven't written it yet ill see what happens!**

**ILOVEYOUCLACE – that's an interesting way of reading into it – I did mention that clary's dad left when she was 2 and she doesn't remember him…but who knows…*evil laugh here* and aww thank you x.**

**Fiona – aww thank you x**

**There might be a little surprise in this chapter…maybe…=)**

**You know the deal by now – though I'm thinking of asking if I can have Alec…**

**Also, don't own any shops and brands mentioned, I'm just finding it easier to use brands people know.**

**The Next Day**

**Clary P.O.V.**

Beep Beep Beep Beep BEEEEEEEEP!

_What? Who….decided…to text me…at this time? It's only…_I glanced at the clock _10?! I should be up by now…shit I didn't set the alarm as I was so caught up in things yesterday Izzy is going to KILL me._

I somehow managed to drag myself out of bed, shower, get dressed and have breakfast before 10:15 – before going next door.

I stood on the doorstep waiting patiently until the most gorgeous eyes I have ever seen met mine _Alec…aww…I can't believe I missed him so much yesterday evening…_but he looked at me with something other than kindness…he was sad, that was clear…was that…pity? _What have I done for him to feel sorry for me?_

"Hey Clary, you ready for the worst shopping experience of your life?" He sounded tired, it was only then I noticed the bags under his eyes…_Surely he's exaggerating…please be exaggerating…_I didn't like shopping but I wanted to get some bonding time with Izzy.

"Hey Alec, you ok?" I looked at him worried, I'd only know him 24 hours and yet…I felt strangely drawn to him, he was beautiful, kind, calm…yet he seemed…fragile, but trusting. _I hope he's ok…_

"Yeah I'm fine…" _he didn't sound fine…I should really _

Suddenly a whirlwind of black hair, make-up and stilettos interrupted my thoughts. _Damn you Izzy_.

"CLARYYYYY! Youaresooolateifididn'tloveyouiwouldkillyouyouknow!" _uh…ok? Yeah he wasn't exaggerating…this will be hell…_

"Morning Iz, how much coffee you had? Never mind, I don't think I want to know why you're like this, let's go. Bye Alec" He waved at me and smiled as Izzy dragged me to her car. "Good Luck" he mouthed, causing me to go pale…_this might not end well_.

**-Time Jump!-**

So we've done NEXT, Primark, River Island, Gucci, Chanel, *lots of shop names that I can't be bothered to mention here because I. Hate. Shopping* _my feet hurt, its been 5 hours…..im starting to hate this girl already._

"So Clary, anywhere You wanna go? _Finally…she asks…_Izzy and I had actually had a great time…_except for the clothes on my part_ and I'd learnt a lot about her, she was a model – doing international shoots, she was 16 just like me and practically ruled St. Xavier's with her brothers.

I was about to answer when I was blinded by Glitter. A LOT of glitter. In EVERY colour. MOVING glitter. It was coming towards us, Izzy squealed and ran towards what I assumed must be a sparkly human being.

"Magnus! Ohmigosh hi!" _ok, sparkles is called Magnus. Question 2, why does he have a CAT with him in the shopping centre?! _a much more normal, if slightly awkward guy was just behind Magnus, holding a professional-looking camera, he had curly brown hair and glasses that didn't quite seem to fit him as he kept pushing them up his nose.

"Hello Isabelle dear" they hugged – and squealed – while glasses boy and I stood there looking awkward, when they finally pulled away Magnus turned to me. "Izzy, who's your new friend?" he smiled and offered his hand.

"I'm Clary, I just moved into the area yesterday next door to her, who's the cat?" the cat meowed loudly, _that's creepy, it can't have understood me…I hate cats…cats bite me…no, bad cat, get away from me…stop rubbing against my leg I'm not gonna pick you up…_

"This magical bastard is the great Chairman Meow" _Ha. Ha. Ha. Funny… _Magnus picked up the cat and held him like a baby. "And this," he gestured to glasses boy, "is my new boyfriend, Simon" Simon blushed and started mumbling. "He's a bit shy but he's cute, right Izzy? Oh yeah and he's the new photographer for our shoots"

"aww Magnus you never told me you'd found a new guy! He IS cute, good thing we are gonna be spending some time together at shoots yeah?" _I'm no expert…but I think she's flirting with him…surely he's, how to say…not her type?_ "Anyways Clary and I are almost done shopping, just wherever she wants to go and then we are done right?"

You know when you zone out and then suddenly realise that everyone is staring at you..? Yeah, that just happened. "Um yeah, sure, is there a QUIZ store round here? If not I say we have to go to COSTA" _or I will just die right here…I Need COSTA…I need a rest…but I love QUIZ too much to resist…_

Magnus and Izzy shared a look _I don't like the look of this…this means something bad…and I think it will involve glitter…_Simon looked at me with pity-filled eyes…he knew something very…sparkly was about to happen…

**-Time Jump!-**

As I was unloading the various bags from Izzy's car, (including all the sparkly stuff Magnus had got me and the dress I got from QUIZ…which I loved…who doesn't love QUIZ…) Alec came outside, he didn't look any better than he did this morning _I really need to find out what's upsetting him_ "Hey Clary, you need a hand with that stuff? I know how bad my sister can be with me and shopping but with a girl I'd imagine she'd be worse" he laughed, tough it seemed forced.

"Hey Alec, yeah thanks I'd love some help and I'd like to talk to you after too?"

"Yeah, that's fine…" he was distant…_something's really upsetting him…I just want to wrap my arms around him and tell him everything's gonna be alright…_

We unloaded everything into my hallway, I then closed the front door and we took my new stuff upstairs to my room _good job I've got a rather big, rather empty wardrobe…Izzy might be intent on filling it…_we were silent for a while, until everything was away and I sat down on my bed, motioning for him to sit beside me. He looked so sad…"Alec, is something wrong? You seemed so happy yesterday but today you're so distant, every time you look at me your eyes look so sad…have I done something wrong?" He stayed quite, looking down into his lap as tears started to fall from his sapphire eyes. I placed my hand on his arm "Alec? Please you can trust me…" he flinched away, causing his long sleeves to pull back, revealing several scars on his wrist, by the look of some of them – they had been done today.

As tears threatened to spill from my own eyes, I wrapped my arms around him and pulled him close. "Oh Alec, I'm so, so sorry…" I kissed his cheek, before he broke down in my arms.

**Well…there you go.**

**Challenge for you now…we need a ship name for Simon/Magnus…what can I say, I like doing different pairings and I've never read one where Simon isn't totally straight.**

**Clary's dress from QUIZ: link on my profile**

**Will be back story from both Clary and Alec in next chapter.**

**Please leave a review or a like or whatever, feel free to PM me too =) **

**Cya next time…**


	4. Chapter 4

**Hi guys, after a lot of thinking and letter-rearranging I've narrowed it down to 2 possible Simon/Magnus ship names and I would like you guys to vote on the following:**

**- Sius (if so, pronounced Sigh-us or See-us?)**

**Maon (Mah –on or mah-own?)**

**I would be interested to know what you guys think of these coz I think ship names should be cute…so not SAGNUS Okays?**

**Greygirl2358 yes, yes he is gay, had this planned from the beginning and don't worry Izzy will find someone…maybe ;) as for what's happened to Alec I hope to explain much of Alec's past in this chapter – no spoilers here.**

**Workitfierce yeah they are both hurt/ tormented by their past but care for one another so they want to help but don't want them to have gone through anything bad if you understand? I have now seen a fanfic where Simon is not entirely straight…its Simon/Valentine which is a bit…strange but good.  
NO, NO SAGNUS, NO. ****You made me laugh so much.**

**DanaWW2 awww thank you ill update as much as I can but going back to school on the 20****th**** so I don't know…**

**WARNING: triggering chapter and sensitive subjects (self-harm, suicide, abortion, abuse) discussed here, so please, if you need to skip this; skip, I understand.**

**I own the plot…that's all *cries***

**Clary P.O.V.**

I held Alec in my arms as he cried for what seemed an eternity, before I knew it, I was crying too at seeing someone so beautiful, so kind and caring being so hurt. _I never want to see him hurt…i…i…I Care about him too much. _When he finally calmed, he looked up at me, his gorgeous starlight eyes red from crying and his cheeks tear-stained. He was pale, he was shaking, he looked so vulnerable, the look in his eyes…it was as if he were a small child, lost and alone who just wanted to be loved…if I hadn't given it to him already, that look captured my heart. _All I want to do is keep him safe…to hold him close and tell him everything's going to be ok, I want to help him…I NEED to help him…_

"Alec?" I whispered, so as not to startle him, "Alec, we need to talk, but only when you are ready". No reaction, his shaking was more pronounced now _shit he's having a panic attack… _"Alec? Alec lie down, it will be over soon, I'll be here the whole time ok? I'm not going to leave you" _I never want to leave you… _he still didn't make a sound, but lay down on my bed before he passed into oblivion.

**Alec P.O.V. **

_It was white. It was black. It was calm. It was chaos._

_I was falling, flying, in a nightmare, in a dream. _

_And then I hit the ground._

Someone was stroking my cheek, softly saying my name; they were so close yet so far away. I tried to listen, but could only hear. When I managed to open my eyes I saw emeralds. _Clary? Oh no…I couldn't have…not in front of her…I must have scared her so much how could I be so stupid…_I must have been shaking, as she reached out her hand to cup my cheek.

"Hey it's ok Alec, shhh it's ok. I'm here for you, like I said I'd be, I understand Alec, and I know what it's like to wake up alone…please let me in, let me help" she looked at me pleadingly…and I was ready to give in, she looked so worried, yet still so kind and caring. _I need this…finally, I can talk to someone…but what if she judges me? What if she hates me...no…she said she understands…I…_I would say I need to choose whether I trust her, whether I should let her through the walls that I have spent so long defending…but I think I made my choice when I came in here.

"You stayed?" I asked cautiously, not wanting to make her feel forced or uncomfortable…especially with what I wanted to tell her.

"Of course I did, I said I would, no-one should have to wake up from a panic attack alone, you looked so peaceful, for just that short amount of time you didn't look scared Alec. I want to help you but I know it takes time, I will never force you to tell me anything, nor shall I expect any help in return." She only whispered the last part. _so she's scared too…I'll never be able to reject her or deny her the help she needs…but I think she – like me – has never had someone to talk to…to listen to…to help and be helped by…to love and be loved…I want to be the one._

I put my hand over hers "thank you".

"Do you want to talk about it? Please know that I will never judge you for your past or for what's happened to you, I want you to be happy and if I can help to achieve that then I will in whatever way I can" her eyes showed no signs of lying – I've always been able to tell when people are lying, to see what they really mean instead of just hearing what they say.

"Ok Clary…I trust you" I was so nervous about what I was going to tell her…I'd never told anyone this…well, not all of it.

**Clary P.O.V.**

"How to start, I guess I'll start at the very beginning…" he looked so nervous, _if only I could help…_

"A very good place to start" I half-sang, which made him smile. _I love "The Sound of Music", looks like he does too..._I smiled back at him as he cleared his throat and began;

"My mum got pregnant with me when she was just 16, it was an unplanned pregnancy and naturally she was terrified, as was my dad – they were both trying to focus on getting qualifications and jobs so they didn't have time to raise a child, let alone the money to do it. My dad was outraged; he thought mum had been on the pill so he blamed her, he told her to get an abortion, to kill me…but she wouldn't, she couldn't do it, so my dad started beating her. He said he would stop if she just got an abortion, the beatings got worse and worse until she gave in, she went to get an abortion…the doctors gave her the go-ahead and my parents – if you can call them that considering – were happy"

His voice caught, like he was about to start crying again. I reached for his hand and held it in mine. He cleared his throat and continued; "but something went wrong, my mum was too far along but the doctors still tried to carry out the abortion. It didn't kill me, it couldn't, it just made my mum and me both very ill. My dad – to mums surprise, didn't get angry at her again, didn't beat her, didn't shout, he was by her side every moment he could be. When she asked if he was upset that the abortion didn't work, if he was angry at her he just smiled and said it wasn't her fault. What he didn't tell her is that he blamed me. He blamed me for being conceived, for existing, for not living and so making mum ill when they tried to kill me. He has always and always will hate me."

_Poor Alec, I couldn't believe that anyone could do that to a child…_I could feel tears coming along but I was captured in his gaze as he continued to talk; "he appeared…and still does, to be kind to me – to love me even – when we are with others, but ever since I was born he has abused me. He tried to drown me when I was just a week old but mum walked in and dad pretended he'd left the water running accidentally and I must have blocked the plughole." He laughed slightly, as if disbelieving …_I don't blame him… _

"He was always very strict with me, he would smack me if I didn't do something correctly or if I did something which I wasn't supposed to. When I turned 12, however, it took a turn for the worse. Every night he would beat me, that I was used to but it wasn't just fists anymore, it was knives, razors, lighters…so I started doing the same. If I reacted to the beating it only got worse so I started cutting, thinking if I could just get used to the pain it would be easier…all that happened was I felt numb, all the time. I detached myself from my emotions and the pain melted away. Yet it was still there. I know that must sound stupid but it was like I was detached from myself, I could still feel everything yet not. In my old school my best friend was called Sebastien. Seb and I were really close; but one day last year he noticed my scars…I told him that they were me, all me, but I could never tell him why…he knew my dad wasn't fond of me and went to the police. I never saw Seb again…" fresh tears spilled over Alec's cheeks. "After the funeral…I couldn't cope anymore…I just couldn't…I moved out of home with Izzy and Jace, I moved school and tried to get my life back on track…but it will never be the same…not now that I'm broken…" _oh Alec….._  
"Alec, listen to me. You are not and never will be broken, you may feel broken but I'm here to help you ok? You are such a strong and brave person and you have been through so much and yet never lashed out at anyone. You've kept things bottled up to protect others, but he can't hurt you here, I promise" I put my arms round him and pulled him close to me as he cried.

"But I am broken Clary, you don't understand I…with Seb gone I couldn't take it…i…I tried to kill myself, when Izzy found me I was passed out on the floor, she got me to hospital…but I said I just fainted, I had felt sick and dizzy and had fainted…how could I tell them the truth if I can't even tell Izzy?" _he tried to…no…I can't believe that this beautiful, amazing, kind, loving person was so hurt that he wanted to leave this world, that he tried to leave us all…_

"You will never be broken Alec, you will always be perfect to me…" he looked into my eyes, so scared and yet there was something there that wasn't before. Hope.

**Alec P.O.V.**

_Perfect…she said that I'm perfect to her…she told me that I'm not broken, that she is here to help…she is an angel…_I glanced over to the clock on the wall, it was already well after 10pm. _Shit._  
"Clary? Would you mind if…if I stayed here tonight? I don't think I can trust myself to not do anything…stupid after telling you all of that" _thinking about what has happened always depresses me…I want to get better…to get better for her_

"Alec, I would love you to stay" she kissed my forehead and pulled the covers around us.  
"Goodnight Alec"  
Without really knowing what I was doing, I kissed her, properly kissed her. On the lips.

"Goodnight Clary"

I wrapped my arms around her as she drifted off to a peaceful sleep.

…_..I think I'm in love….._

**Awww Alec's in love **

**I don't own "Sound of Music" either…but it is amazing – did any of you start singing Do Rae Mi in your heads?**

**I'm sorry if this upset you guys, if you cried, let me know.**

**Please review and/or PM me and remember to vote (options at top)**

**Could guests please leave their names and I will try to get back to you guys as soon as possible.**

**Clary's story in next chapter maybe?**

**Thank you all so much for reading,**

**Cya next time…**


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